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lina_ame @ 2007-11-06T17:02:00

... everything wrong.
the head is full of thoughts.
and the dull feeling I do everything wrong.
I do not know ... what could be done. if you can change anything ...
nobody is to blame for something, it's how it is.
only too bad that I believed in this love.

... I wish I could do something for you.
tell me something ... speak to me. Please do not leave me alone.
I have trusted you ... I wish you could see what goes on in me ...

. But I will not betray. a second confession
I not have the heart. not make life harder
not fall to the load. it was always. I forget everything.
the dreams, the love. for I see that this does not make any sense to exestieren
. I would have never thought that I care so much. ...

wrong ... everything.
the words, all lies. I would love to tell you what is really going on.
but ... what good is it if my feelings have no meaning?
not even I myself need them, what for, if they can not be answered? ...
had perhaps I my chance, but I missed it.
might have it a-can-we give, but this one was missing.

... I do not know what to do.
I can not forget.
again, hide, run away ... nice smile, common questions and incorrect answers.
I hate lies, but the truth is ridiculous. I love you and can not tell you.
... yet there is no sense at all. everything wrong ...

... and the days dissolve slowly
and every night and every day I look at my window
pass people.
try and find you between many
and do not know why I do this.
because this feeling is pointless .... I split
into two different persons,
two completely different.
one will break at the end. the true one.
and the other is dissolving, as clouds of smoke
from my window. between the fingers, hiding tears,
slow steps of the clock,
where I want to hear yours.
it all makes no sense ...

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~.bitter_sweet.

... because you have your own dream.
because it will never happen.
dream not come true,
all that remains is
pain and the knowledge,
that it was stupid.
each word is superfluous.
I can not bear to see you.
run away, hide ...
it hurts. the thought that you have your own dream.
because they are similar to mine only in one -
we both dream of love.
you break my magic box,
remains only long, oppressive silence,
in which one hears all down tear drop.
- it's a long time since I shed tears because of you.
no one knows what goes on in our heads -
I have given up hope long ago.
add people to hurt each other, rather
one is alone.
I'm sorry, I wanted to decorate my days and nights
mochmal not the same -
bittersweet.
you break the second time my dream
and I trust them to return. I'm sorry, that just
you are. themselves to blame ...

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you silly girl mary...

the past want to go back.
what, I need it? - No.
yes, I have loved you ... I did it once.
who you are? Let us know about? what we are, what might have made us be what could become of us? can you tell me?
- no.
I never thought that it could go on ... that you have not forgotten me, that you are interested ...
but ... what you see in me, who? what we are, if it is a -we- not available ...
you know .. I've missed you. my friends fully talked the ears - with you. your name now carries too many emotions with it. I did not think that you have not forgotten me. I ... could not believe it.
run away and ... is stupid, but I can not help it. perhaps because I am still so much up to you. who knows ...

much has changed. we have changed. so much was going on so many things that one has still so fresh in the memories that they still hurt. true, confessions, dreams, desires, experiences ... everything at once, and now one again crashing into the quiet autumn of my life. why just you, the one I've loved, I could not forget the ... if you could understand me? ? Understand I'm afraid to disappoint you, fear of being disappointed. for it opens so many, and can inflict as much pain. I am ready to take the risk - just ask myself, what do you want? what are you doing? unintentionally, I think of you often ... what will become of this story? ...

Converse Double Laces

lina_ame @ 2007-09-01T03:23:00


gradually
words again and again ...
which mean nothing
~ there are two different worlds.

I have poems written
stories, stories
and every little thing, all that seemed so unrealistic
agreed but now dying of this part of me from
the more I that summer day in my errinerung refresh, the more I want to delete this
for most days this summer were empty
each, so important experience I could save my
just rest my guard
but the chance is for the next summer when I moved
him at all ... may still experience

I'm just a girl
hide the reality of playing with
and as hiding their own world chose
and now roam the people passing by the door day after day,
notice and not at the door
as if they were bewitched
although it is open before their eyes
and only the see them,
play hide just live with.

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[ .too tired for feeling anythind...]

. suffocate slowly ... ..

. I have never seen such my class. I could never imagine just how racist can be children. Children who have some idea and attitude towards Foreigners have. One should explain that younger people, that nation dies. You yourself have seen what Germany without these foreigners ist.Und anyway ... even if they know that all men are created equal. That all have the same rights ... Despite all this, I do not feel well myself. I am tolerant. The people for whom I am a foreigner. Whose great-grandparents, my ancestors killed. I guard no hatred. For me all people are equal. Why can not they also think so? Maybe I'm not - but I feel excluded. Not only because I am different. Because I feel different. No, because I come from another country. Because I am a foreigner.
We're all saw what Germany would be no foreigners. The subject is so uninteresting and old, that I do not want to think about it. I am proud to be a foreigner. Because I am tolerant. And above all, not stupid. ... The

August we donated the last warm days. The latest from eternal rain season. More and more I feel the loneliness without the man who is like me. The only one in a long time, which I did not feel lonely. I remember every second of every breath with him. This fills me a pain, its origin, I am aware of, but not the reason. ... The reason I am supposed to ignore such a thing, something I will ever feel non. But again I must confess that I am very vulnerable and sensitive. Also, only a cold or coarse word - and I feel bad It is interested only the few that I feel it.. Because no normal person is upset because of such trifles. Or it follows an appropriate response. However, I feel too much. My feelings will give me some point the rest.
But maybe it only comes from the fact that this man does me a lot more than I can even admit to me. This is no love, no. Only ... there is a kind of people who are very sympathetic and interesting. And while very attractive, and yet they feel as I do. One can say that I and this young man have a lot in common - although we are very different. But perhaps it is also attracts me so in him. The only problem is, as usual the distance. Just as the last time a year ago. ...

... I do not want in my class back. Most of all I would have stayed at home, only for me this Feinseeligkeit and malice that comes from these children will feel no more.

[Khokolotte]

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[ .what.is.lonelyness.?. ]

. . What is solitude? ...

~ If you're staring at people. The whole time, because you look different. Because you think differently than them. Because you're different.
~ If you're an outsider. Because you have defined yourself, because you wanted to understand himself. When the world in you zuwammenbrach before your eyes. Like a Kartenhüttchen. If you see the world full of hate and pain. And then when you return, you're all alone. Like a sad clown who is stared at by everyone. And no one understands why his make-up runs. You'll laugh again, but for them you remain an outsider.
~ If no one is able to understand you. Your philosophy, your thoughts. If none of your eye sees. For them, you'll be a sad child who stares into the void with his blue eyes. They ask from you what your words mean. What does that because ... your shattered dreams? What are these chips, you have in your hand? What do you mean to me tears of blood from your wrists? ... If they ask and try to think, instead of silence and try to feel . If represent the feelings of your life, not the banal thoughts. They'll never understand. Purely because you do not fit into their grid boxes. Because you are different.

I am different, and requires no more , accept and be accepted. I do not want including . I can only feel my thoughts are my feelings. But that's true loneliness. My loneliness. Do not be understood. If there is no one who knows how to think my thoughts and my way to feel. The feel this way can not. If there is no one who accepts you, as you are. Then you are lonely. And I agree, to be lonely - after all, is better, but to adapt and personality simply resolve to lose. Loneliness is better than if you just adapt. I will never adapt, only to arrive well in others.

. .. If no one understands you ... because you're different ... can you imagine what it's like ???.. .

[lost fish]